I think it's because we have become so customed to tuning things out, noises, conversations of other people, even though they may be speaking to us. We are too busy. We are always too busy.
What about when God is speaking to us? Do you know it's Him or do you just shrug it off and think it's just your imagination? How can we know that it's really Him speaking?
Well, I'm gonna tell you how I know God was trying to get my attention.
I lost my job.
Let me take you back a couple of weeks prior to "that day". I use to sell Mary Kay. You're wondering what this has to do with me losing my job, right? Well, it has everything to do with it. I decided to talk to a friend of mine who I had as a director before and we got me signed back up to join this wonderful company. I had talked to my husband about this and told him that I wanted to do this and I felt that God was leading me back to it. I had a time table for when I wanted to do this full time. The time I picked wasn't in agreement with him, so I made a compromise. I told him that when I started making the same amount with Mary Kay as I was with my job or the time when he said, which ever came first, then I would turn in my notice.
I continued on with my full time job as usual. I had not been happy there for a long time. It's not that I didn't like my job, I just wasn't happy. Ok, here's where the story gets exciting.
Wednesday, October 21st 2009 was a day like all the others. I came to work and did what I do. Nothing out of the ordinary. Just the same thing as every other day. I went to lunch and came back, continuing with my work.
Around 3 or 3:15 that afternoon, the owner of the company and his son, the president came to me to look at a utility bill. It was my job to keep my eyes peeled on things out of the ordinary and let them know. I usually did a pretty good job at it. I would miss it once in a while, but then no one is perfect, right.
Well, I evidently missed something really big. The screaming I got was nothing short of "I will strangle you" look. In all the years I worked there, I had never seen or heard such. He was still yelling as he went back to his office. Yeah, this was in front of God and everyone in the office.
A few seconds later, I was called into his son's office and told they had to let me go that I had missed too much work. I was in a state of shock from the moment I was being screamed at to being told I was fired. I understood that I had made a mistake and yes, I had missed some work due to being sick, etc. But I felt blindsided. The entire office went stone cold silent. No one said a word.
As I started packing my stuff up to leave, I asked a co-worker to help me take my things to my car. He, too, was in shock and told me he felt sick. I let him know that I would be ok, that everything would be ok. I didn't scream back, I didn't throw or slam things, I didn't even cry. I felt very calm, shocked, but calm.
As the next few days went by, I was still in a state of shock. I moved in a fog, but my husband was home during this time. My daughters even said I looked better. The stress was gone from my face. I don't know that all the stress is gone. I still have to make a pay check. As for Bryan, he's upset at what they did, but mostly concerned.
I am the type of person that if something goes wrong or I make a mistake, I need to know about it so I can "fix" it. I am what some would refer to as a person who likes to "be in control".
Well, the day of my dismissal, I had my first Mary Kay party. Some of the ladies I worked with were to come and I made sure that they knew that I still expected to see them there. They came and I told my director what had happened. Her response was "YOU WERE!!!! (with a smile on her face)" Doesn't God work in misterious ways? (still smiling)
I never thought about looking at it that way considering I was still in shock. We had a good time that night. A day or two later she emailed me telling me that I really needed to have some form of inventory. She and I both knew I had no money to do that. Her words, "take a leap of faith". Then I was told that I could get my 401K out. I know what you're thinking. I didn't have that much in there to begin with. However, what I get will be enough to get the minumun inventory order.
Now, back to "Are you listening?" As the days started going by, I realized that God had been speaking to me in different forms. I guess the doors that were being opened, I saw as opportunities and I would do them 'on my terms and my time'. I guess God got tired of holding them opened and had my butt kicked out it. Then to have the ability to receive the money that I needed, well, that's only God.
Nothing about any of this has 'my control' about it. God was and is telling me that He alone is in control of my life. Period! Stop worring about why it happened and start thanking Him for being there to help me through it.
This new path that I am being led down will not be a walk in the park. God did not take me from one place that I didn't want to be to put me in another where there would be no sacrifices or hard times. He has me here to show me who He is and to be obedient to Him.
I pray that I will be the person He is trying to teach me to be. It's been hard these last few days. Part of me wants to hide in bed and not do anything and let depression take me down into that dark pit. The other part wants to be joyous and thankful and grateful and peaceful and go out and do a great job for the Lord. This is the part that will win.
Everyday will be a new beginning for me. Everyday is a new beginning for all of us. I am not going to look to tomorrow, because tomorrow may never come. I am looking at today. What am I going to do today that will make my Lord and Saviour proud of me? What am I going to do today that will bless others?
So, I ask you, Are You Listening?
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